CATaclysm!!

In da past 19 yrs I’ve never really wanted anythn this bad..u knw, being da eternal pessimist tht I am, I’ve always knwn tht it was never goin tah work out so I dint even bother tryin to do it..for example, I knew tht I wasn’t gonna get into IIT so even after I went thru rigorous coachin(wakin up at 4 in da morn tah study, it wasn’t exactly cakewalk!!)4 over 2 yrs, I dint even write da test... I wasn’t really interested in engg, so I dint even bother tah write EAMCET(I am an engg. Student nw, but tats a diffrnt story altogether whch involves a truck load of cash n a whole lot of perseverance by my mum!!)u get wat I’m tryin tah say here rt!! I was genuinely never interested in anythn .. my most common answer to” wat r ur career plans?” was always “hmm.. get married to a stinkin rich guy, divorce him n get loads in alimony n spend it all asap n den repeat it all over again”(knew tht wudnt work either but it did make ppl thnk twice b4 they even tried speakin tah me..)But da thng dat’s got me in a fix here is tht as of 2day its been 14months since I’ve sorta decided(then, recklessly, unknowingly….)tht I wanna do MBA (4m a prestigious institute, mind you,gr8 expectations here..)CAT.. November 18th(doomsday!!) is abt 3 mnths away n I’ve jus realized tht I actually do want dis., n its wreakin havoc on mah happy-go-lucky life n lite u take attitude..i almost passed out wen I saw da mock test paper 2day(same as last Sunday n da one b4 tht), not tht it was hard or nethn but jus becoz I’ve been wonderin as to wud I get da %ile tat I need…wud I b able tah crack it … thnk I’m an inch away 4m a total nervous breakdown n da reason I’m penning dis down is jus tah refresh mah memory aftr a couple of days or so as to why dis happnd........... Its frndship day 2day n a gud frnd of mine called me up n all dat I cud tell him was hw royally I messed up mah mock 2day.. was it necessary? Absolutely not.. I’ve gotten to a situation wher I can barely finish a sentence without uttering da words, CAT or percentile or FLT’s or sprints….. the advice tht he gave me or wat I interpreted it to be was tht “ its nt a do or die situation.., jus work at it n give it ur all n more..wen its crunch time , its jus u n ur paper n aftr ur dun wid it, don’t ever luk back n sulk abt it.. enjoy life…enjoy studying 4 it n aftr ur dun wid tht jus frgt abt it n enjoy whatever ur doin..jus give it ur all n ur gud to go…if it doesn’t happen nw den it will da nxt time.. or da nxt…never lose faith..”.n lots more whch I cant seem tah pen down rt nw….. hmm.. well, I never even knew I had faith but yeah, sure,I will give it a shot… I’m nt so sure abt da nxt attempt part of it but da rest of it, I’ll definitely give it mah best try…. Wat’s da worst dat cud happen rt!! This optimistic plague seems tah b catchin on, ‘eh!![:D]….(5th aug'07)